The Vampire Player... 

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." - Marilyn Monroe 

I love Melbourne, I think it is the most wonderful place on earth. Amazing coffee, quirky lane ways, interesting people, oh and did i mention Ghosts?

A couple of years ago i went on a ghost tour at the Beechworth Mayday Hills Lunatic Asylum. It was excellent, the tour guide had a certain La Trobe University Arts degree feel about him and he kept us well entertained throughout the night. So i jumped at the chance to see what the Haunted Melbourne Ghost Tour had to offer.

After some Greek cuisine and a few brews myself and a group of girls from work headed off to the meeting point for the tour,The Haunted Bookshop. It was clear from the first few steps up those stairs that this was going to be an interesting night. The shop was a smaller version of what i would imagine the 'Magic Box' in Buffy the Vampire Slayer to look like, if it was real...(Yes i am a huge nerd). It was filled to the roof with books, statues, tarot cards and magic stuff for spells and what not.

Behind the counter stood a man dressed in black, much like the priest from 'The Exorcist', he had the whole get up; hat and all. He definitely had something about him. I handed over my $20 and eagerly grabbed my pass for the night.

It was quite clear early on that this guy was for real, he was definitely not a La Tobe University Arts graduate.  He was quirky, charismatic and funny, one hour in I had quiet the crush. The tour continued on winding its way through the streets and alleys for over two hours with our stud muffin of a guide  pointing out significant places in Melbourne's Ghostly history.

After the tour ended the larger group scurried off and my group lingered back as we had a few questions about ghost's. While we chatted our new friend revealed his views on life, he was definitely interesting and unique and i was tempted to ask him to head out for a drink with us. I didn't. Instead i got home, added him to facebook and googled the shit out him.

As it turns out he is a kind of celebrity in night of the living dead land. He apparently hosted a television program about ghosts; a channel 31 equivalent of Master Chef or so im lead to believe.

I also discovered the following...

1. He is a vampire. Apparently he was declared a vampire in the Victorian Magistrates Court and no i do not have any further detail.

2.  He is a satanist. He is a leader at the Melbourne Church of Satan. He has also written a book on the subject- The Anti-Christ Bible. Not to be mistaken with the 'The Good News Bible'.

3. Perhaps my favourite; he is the Australian Ambassador of the Transylvanian Society of Dracula. Quite the introduction at next years Christmas Party...

4. Finally and most terrifying of all- In his former life he worked as an Advertising Exec and also trained to be an Anglican Priest.

I was in quite the predicament. I had met a man who i believed to be single, gainfully employed, well educated, funny and attractive. But on the other hand there was the blood sucking, worshiping the devil and frequent trips to Romania to contend with. My mind started bouncing ahead as so many single, almost 30 year old females minds tend to do. There was the meeting of the friends, no issues there as they have met countless ex boyfriends. The sleeping arrangements, would i have to trade in my Harvey Norman White Lauravale queen size bed for a coffin? Not to mention those awkward Christmas Party introductions. And the sucking of my blood business, i wont lie to you im not even big on hickeys.

So after careful consideration i have decided to put this one on the back burner...just for now. Though i suspect i will be back, in the words of Stephen Dorf "Vampires to me have always been very sexy".