The Older Man Appeal...

This morning i woke up in desperate need of a cold shower. I had spent what felt like hours dreaming about an older man, a much older man in fact. It was surprisingly the one and only Dick Van Dyke, all glorious 86 years of him. His wife also made a guest appearance (Make-up Artist Arlene Silver- aged 40), we were standing there arguing over him. He was rather unfortunately in a hospital bed, however i won the fight and proceeded to get in it with him.

Dick has been a recent topic of conversation amongst my friends, the recent marriage, the huge age difference, his appeal circa Mary Poppins and his current appeal, if any. I had no idea he was on the market, if i had perhaps i would have done something about it and risked being disowned by both my family and friends.


So whats the appeal? Recent studies by Oxford University found that women are looking for solid resources and social status, men prefer younger partners who are 'trim and beautiful' and women prefer older men, except for women in their 60's, who are for some reason after younger men. So it would seem Hugh Hefner, Rod Stewart and Woody Allen all have the right idea (statistically speaking).


Older men have a certain self assurance, the type that can only come with, well i guess being old. They know the importance of picking you up for a date, paying for the movie tickets and they know how to make a phone call, usually from their home phone (none of this text messaging business, to be fair they probably havent quiet grasped the concept). They understand how to charm, a skill that seems to be lost amongst generation Y.


Lets face it they know stuff, they were around when the classics were being made. They watched Caddyshack at the pictures and brought Journey on Vinyl. They have seen it all, traveled to the most exotic locations, paid off their homes and are now left with some rather attractive salt and pepper for their efforts.


The best bit...they will always be older. You will always be slightly more firmer and less wrinkled, you will be chewing steak with your own teeth while they look on with envy, you will not have to worry about them leaving you for someone younger and you will most likely be financially secure. With the assistance of Viagra men can continue to procreate well into later life. Take Paul McCartney who had a child at 61 or Charlie Chaplain who fathered a child at 73, sure its not ideal and the quality of the sperm is certainly deteriorating but they are not faced with the same limitations as women.


As for Dick i will keep my fingers crossed and hope that things fall apart for him and his new wife. And when they do, i will be waiting.